when i finished my first (and only) year of college, back in 1978, i went to work for a large law firm in downtown west palm beach, fl. i was in a pool of six girls who each did secretarial work for about 12 attorneys. we had an hour for lunch every day and so three of us girls, myself, marion and ginger, would sometimes take a ten minute ride down to palm beach and sit on the sea wall and eat our bag lunch. (which translated to scoping out the surfer boys.)
this day we decided to do just that and we were going to go in my car, a toyota celica, which meant that i was driving. we were in the right hand lane, cruising right along on the main drive through palm beach, (yeah, THE PALM BEACH) where all the filthy rich people live. now, any time the three of us girls got together, i can assure you there was plenty of noise, with us singing to the radio, laughing and checking out the local "dudes." to see if we might draw the interest of one of them. a filthy rich one. so that we might marry one and live in one of those mansions on the water one day. i realize now, some 31 years later, that cruising down worth avenue in a toyota celica would probably not draw the attention of anyone that had a dime to their name, but we didn't know that back then. we were young, and stupid and we looked good to boot.
the light turned red and i came to a complete stop. just like the drivers manual instructs you to do. we were laughing about something and when the light turned green, i put my foot on the gas to go, because i was the first one in line and those people in palm beach mean for you to GO when that light turns green. then, as quick as a lightening strike my little car collided...
with one of those humongous ROLLS ROYCES! we went right through the back door of that monstrosity and the old man at the wheel just kept on going...pulling my car, with us still in it! he was going to try and make this little accident a hit and run, but i think he realized that he would have a pretty hard time explaining to his wife exactly WHY he had a toyota celica with three young girls, planted in his back seat. he pulled off the road and that was the very first bag phone i had ever seen. he called the police and we just sat there, until they arrived with a tow truck to pull the car, and us, back out into the real world.
this man had been drinking during his lunch hour, and while we were heading east, towards the beach, he was headed west, towards home...or a bar...or somewhere. he didn't know, because he was drunk. he had come to the same traffic light, on the other side of the median and had decided that the red light didn't apply to Him, so he made a left turn and i put my foot on the gas just as he passed me. he never spoke one single word to us girls throughout the whole time we sat there. in his backseat. and we weren't physically hurt or anything, thank God, but wouldn't you know, out of all the cars in the world, i would have to have my little bump with one of the most expensive ones. my car had to be hauled off on the tow truck, and he got to call someone to come and drive his away, since he was under the influence, minus a back door.
the old man, of course, was charged in the accident and us girls...well we got to take an extended lunch hour that day. and then we had to get a ride back to work from the policeman who was handling the accident. my insurance covered the damage to my car and life went on.
fast forward a few years.
i had just bought a brand new silver volkswagon jetta. my sister, terri had just bought a red mitsubishi eclipse. just a few short weeks after my large purchase, my radio and cassette player just quit working. a girl can not have THAT! we must have our tunes to rock out to...so i had to take my car over to west palm beach and leave it for a couple of days at the dealership, so they could replace it. i was living in clewiston at that time. and it so happened, that mama was over in ft. myers, in the hospital. i can't remember if it was for gall bladder surgery or if she was having a kidney stone...but that's where she was anyway. ft. myers was an hour and a half west of clewiston, and west palm beach was the same distance, east. i needed someone to drive me over to get my car, which was on a friday, so terri said that she would take me.
now. let me stop here and tell you this. mama was always telling us girls, "y'all don't need to be out at night in those little miniskirts. if you got stranded on the side of the road some maniac serial killer/rapist would surely get you."
we didn't always listen to mama though. we were bad girls. and besides, we were going over to west palm in the daytime anyway. we would be back home before dark. let me also stop here. and tell you that mama doesn't like to hear about things we did when we were younger. even though many, many years have passed, and we never really did anything that every other young person did/does. she might still get mad. like sometimes how you might have a bad dream about your spouse having an affair with your best friend, and the next morning you would wake up furious at them, and be mad all day long. and they don't even know what they did. (don't pretend like you've never done this before) so...mama, if you're reading this, you might want to stop. now.
after we picked up my car we decided we didn't really feel like driving right straight back home. there wasn't anything to do there on a friday night. so we made the bad decision to go visit some friends. and it got later and later, and it was really, really dark by the time we decided we need to go. so, we left, with me driving my car in front and terri following me in her car. we were on a main highway, but it was not a busy highway. not in the middle of the night. and it didn't have street lights. and on one side of the road was a canal. a very, very deep canal. it was a four lane road, and i was driving along at a pretty good pace, when i suddenly started getting very sleepy. it was getting to the point where i could hardly keep my eyes open, so i rolled down my window so i could get some wind blowing in my face. thinking that this would wake me up.
i turned my head, briefly, towards the open window and when i turned back towards the road, in that instant i saw that there was something in the road, and i knew that i was going to run over it. and i did. it was lying horizontal to my car and it was longer than my car was wide. it got caught on something and my car began swerving, because i was trying to put the brakes on...but my brakes went out. and then my power steering went out. and i ended up in the far lane...the one going in the wrong direction than i had been going in, and then this thing, whatever it was came free from the car and started rolling down the road towards terri, who was fast approaching. she swerved to avoid hitting it and ran her car along the guard rail that was up to keep idiots like us, out of the canal. she was scared to death that i was dead, and that whatever or whoever i hit was dead and that she was out there in the dark all by herself. she got out and came running over to my car and there i was, slumped over the steering wheel...i don't know if i had been knocked out for a minute or two, or if i was just in shock. what i did know was this. we were out on a dark, lonely highway, in the middle of the night. not a soul knew where we were. i had just possibly killed someone. and we were both wearing mini-skirts. now there were two of us scared to death. we knew that if a maniac serial killer/rapist didn't get us, mama surely would when we got back home.
there was no such thing as cell phones in those days. and the closest thing to us, that was inhabitated with humans, was five miles back down the road. and before we could go anywhere to call anybody, we had to walk down the road and see what it was that i hit. and see if we could render first aid. soooo...huddled together and muffling our screams we headed in that direction, and the closer we got...the bigger it got! we didn't see any movement at all, or hear any thing resembling a cry for help, or a breath. or a gasp. we crept closer. and this is what had hit my car
not exactly this one, but one that looked just like it. a 9 1/2 ft. alligator. with his head smashed in. we started screaming bloody murder and ran as fast as we could back to terri's car and hauled our badonkadonks five miles back down to that truckstop we had passed. one of those 24 hour ones. where truckers hang out in the middle of the night. and ogle young girls. in mini-skirts. we went inside and had the cashier call the police and they told us to wait there for them, so we could lead them back to the gator. when they finally got there we drove back to the scene of the "crime" and waited while the trooper took his report. and then he told us that we would have to wait for a wildlife officer to come, because i had run over an endangered species! and i was thinking, "whoa there officer...that alligator was "jaywalking" on a dark highway in the middle of the night. it was not MY fault he couldn't outrun my car!" i was thinking that i was going to jail that night. the officer finally came, after about an hour, and he had to measure the gator and they removed the head and then they put the body of the alligator in the back of his truck. i don't have the faintest idea why they did that. but i imagine they took it for the tail meat. gator tail is considered a delicacy in those parts of south fl. we were finally free to go. minus my car. it had to be towed away.
we made it back home, and then the scariest part of the whole night came when we had to call mama and daddy and tell them what had happened. (the "not the WHOLE truth version") and of course, mama wanted to know what we had been wearing. and we had to listen to her telling us, in that way that only mama's can do...I TOLD YOU NOT TO WEAR THOSE MINI-SKIRTS AT NIGHT!!! WHAT IF A MANIAC SERIAL KILLER/RAPIST HAD BEEN OUT THERE ON THAT HIGHWAY!!! and i'm sure we were probably grounded for life.
that alligator had done $3,000 worth of damage to my brand new car. tore out the whole bottom of it, blown two tires, took out the power steering, the brakes, and a heap of other things.
i never went down that road again, without thinking about how lucky we were...to have a mama that prayed for us. all the time. probably prayed alot for herself too...that she would live through all the stuff we kids would get into. we did some crazy things. some downright stupid things. but one thing we DIDN'T ever do again...was to wear mini-skirts out, in the middle of the night. we didn't want mama to have the satisfaction of being able to say she told us so...again.
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