Monday, March 28, 2011

How do you know?

after reading my previous post, someone asked me, "how do you hear God? how do you know when it's Him?" so, i decided to answer her here. i don't know how everyone else hears God...i suppose its different for each of us. but i know that He comes to me through whispers. through the words of a song, through a verse from the Bible, through ordinary, everyday things. sometimes i will ask God something and He is silent. i don't hear anything, i don't feel anything. and then something will happen and it's then that i know...without a doubt, that it's God speaking.

i've written about some of these things in previous blog posts, but i will share 4 that have happened to me recently.

when i was at Ft. Myers Beach last summer, i was waiting on the trial to be set in my divorce. i was very stressed out and not looking forward to testifying. having your entire marriage, with all it's problems, come out in open court can be very embarrasing and humiliating. God had given me my "word" to live by earlier that year, which was actually two words, BABY STEPS. He had assured me that He would be with me, every step of the way. that i just needed to chill out and let Him take over. He would expose the truth if i just trusted in Him, and Micajah and i would be fine. A few days after giving me my "word" the date was set for trial and i learned that my ex was going to try and call my parents to testify. and that was not something that any of us wanted. they were not well and didn't think they could make the trip back home, and more importantly, they didn't want to have to testify for or against my ex. they had loved him like a son and it tore them apart when our marriage ended up like it did. i knew that he was just threatening me, out of spite, but still, it upset me. i grabbed my camera, like i did every day and went for a walk down the beach. it was early in the morning and there weren't many people out yet. but, ahead of me was a family of four, with the youngest being about 2 yrs. old. she was holding on to her daddys hand and walking right at the waters edge and when the waves went back into the ocean, their footprints were exposed. i just snapped a picture of them, because i love that poem about when you didn't see the footprints, it was then that God was carrying you. Later that day, when i was uploading the pics to my computer...THIS popped up.

one little baby step. i had taken the picture of the daddys and the baby's prints, but only this one little footprint came up. one little BABY STEP. and i knew that was God speaking to me, reminding me that i had turned it over to Him and He was going to take care of things. and He did. the judge decided that my parents didn't need to go back to GA and testify.

When it came time for the trial, i left the beach and went home. my sister, Paula went with me to court. it was only going to be a one day trial, but still, i was so nervous about getting up on the stand. he had served me with a bogus counter-claim and i was going to have to prove that he was lying. a friend of mine had suggested i take something physical in with me to hold on to, that would remind me that God was in control. So, i grabbed a yellow legal pad and in big letters, i wrote my favorite verse, "Be still, and know that I am God." my attorney had warned me not to show anger or hostility towards my ex, and not to let his attorney try and provoke me into getting into an argument. well, he did try and provoke me and each time he tried to twist my words around or make it look like i wasn't telling the truth, i just held my breath and looked down at that verse i was holding in my hand. and it calmed me instantly and i was able to answer him, with no hint of anger, even though i wanted to scream out LIAR, LIAR. God calmed me with just those words and the judge saw through all the lies and i came out of the divorce very well. He took care of us, just like He said He would.

this year God gave me another "word." FLY. i thought ok, this one is a little strange and i wasn't really sure what it meant when He gave it to me. but He let me know that this year He was going to take me to new places. not necessarily that i was going to be traveling, but that He was taking me to a whole new level of faith in Him. that He was going to show me just how much He loves me. and a few days later my family and i went to eat at Cracker Barrel. they all knew my word beforehand, and thought i was a little bit nuts. i was walking around the gift shop when i spotted a little basket sitting up on a shelf with these little tiles that were like dominoes, but they had words written on them. HOPE, FAITH, BELIEVE. very common words that you see everyday. i stuck my hand in the basket and pulled one out and it said this:

and i was thinking, well that's pretty close but it's not the "word." i went to put it back into the basket and i turned it over and saw this:

now, how often do you see the word FLY on something like this? mixed in with hope, faith, believe? and it was the only one in the basket. i bought it and took it to the table and showed my family and they couldn't believe it! THIS was God speaking to me.

in the post previous to this one, the one that actually sparked this was a friday night, a little over a week ago, when i did the nosedive. i had been flying high and suddenly came crashing back to earth. i was so full of hurt and questions and i was repeatedly asking God, WHY? i had asked Him to slam the door if this was not His will, because i knew i was getting in deep and instead He kept opening doors. and as i wrote, i didn't hear anything. God was not speaking to me. He was there...but, He was silent. for days. and then He decided to speak to me. it was this past friday. Micajah got up at 6:30 to go to school. i had fallen back asleep after waking him up and just as he was getting ready to leave, he came and opened my bedroom door and very nonchalantly, as if this was something he said to me everyday, he said, "mom, i just wanted to let you know that the dining room window was left open last night and there is a bird in the house." and he closed my door and left. WHAT? i thought it was part of my dream. i got up a few minutes later and walked into the dining room, and sure enough, there was a little bird flying from one end of the room to the other. i went through the kitchen and opened the door to the screened in porch, hoping i could shoo him out that way. he flew into the living room and down the hallway and back to the dining room. it was as if he was saying, "here i am, now i'm over here, everywhere you go, i go." i thought it was a little weird and i went back to my room to get my camera, because i take pictures of things like birds flying around in my house. and he was gone. i suppose he found his way to the open door and took flight. no picture. but, i went back to my room and turned on my computer and hit my itunes playlist. it was set to shuffle the songs so i didn't hear them in any particular order. and of all the songs on there, THIS song began playing:

did you catch the part where she sings "He'll do and He'll use, whatever He wants show you I LOVE YOU." God had spoken to me. through a bird. He was telling me that no matter where i go, or what i face, HE is always there, always waiting on me to turn to Him and to trust Him.

THAT, my friends, is how God talks to me. it may seem silly to some of you, but, i KNOW that i KNOW...and that's what is important to me.

Oh, and right after i posted the story of being in His will, satan came right in and started telling me that i shouldn't have put on that on my blog for who knows who to see...and i was a little bit worried about it...until i scrolled down my newsfeed and saw these two quotes that a friend had posted: (thank you, Lisa Sinclair)

* Where there is a will, there is a way. If there is a chance in a million that you can do something, anything, to keep what you want from ending, do it. Pry the door open or, if need be, wedge your foot in that door and keep it open * Pauline Kael

Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts * Rick Warren

it was for me. it was affirmation that i had done exactly what God told me to do. and i feel good about that!

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