HOLEY MOLEYS!!!!!

i've read alot of stories about how people who have pets, look like their pet. REALLY? let's examine this. This is my dog, Zoe. see if you can see the resemblence between her and i.

No, look a little further down.

Exactly. yes, we do favor each other. BUT, in my defense, i nursed each of my three boys for NINE months!! that's TWENTY SEVEN months out of my life people!! who wouldn't look like this after that? mmmmmhmmmmm. that's what i thought. many of YOU look like this too, dont'cha?

When i was about eleven years old i began developing...and now, at fifty years old...i am STILL developing. My "girls" (actually they're twins, but not identical) decided to make their permanent residence on my chest at this tender younger age, much to my dissatisfaction. by the time i reached my teen years i weighed in at around 100 lbs., with my twins accounting for about 20 lbs. of that weight. my body was not in proportion to say the least. my bosom buddy (no pun intended, Marylynn, was in exactly the same predicament. we were "mature young ladies" floating amongst a sea of "immature girls." She had a tee shirt she wore sometimes that said "my treasure chest." i had one that said "packaged in america." it was one of my favorite things to wear, because it was this really pretty blue color and it looked so good with my white hot pants. (in my time that's what really short, shorts were called.) anyway, our family was traveling upstate one year when i was sixteen years old and this particular day we stopped at some kind of national park where my mother took pictures of all of us kids against the beautiful backdrop of mountains. i was wearing that outfit that day. my shirt matched the color of the sky beautifully. i never thought anything of it until many years later when my mother put that picture on a scrapbook page she was making for me. we were laughing about it and she said, "your daddy was soooo humiliated when you wore that shirt!" WHAT???? the boys in school always told me i looked so good in it! i was a naive little idiot back then. this is my story, and i'm sticking to it. (sorry daddy, i promise never to wear a shirt like that again.)

It brings to mind another story. when i gave birth to my oldest son, landon, his father and i decided to take a trip up to north fl to visit my husbands grandparents. it was a really loooooong trip. we were driving along I95 in our black trans am, the sunroof open, my long hair whipping in the wind, when landon began howling. he was hungry and was not going to wait to be fed. so i figured we were moving along at a pretty good speed. no one could see into the car. so i pulled him out of his carseat, took him into my lap and began to nurse him. all was well in his little world. about 15 minutes or so a big semi truck pulled up beside us...on my side. i wasn't paying a bit of attention to him. i was a new mother, just enjoying my sweet baby. the man driving that big semi blew his horn (which of course woke landon up and he began to cry) and motioned for me to roll my window down. i thought he was going to tell me we had a flat tire or our tail lights were out, or something like that. no sir. he smiled at me and said, "that's a really beautiful baby you have there!" i said, "thank you" and turned to my husband and said, "that was nice of him" to which my husband busted out laughing. he said, "janet, he was looking at your "girl!" which was fully exposed now because he had blown that horn on purpose, knowing he would scare the baby off of it! pervert! and idiot me, again.

another time, when Pickle was a baby, she was in the car with my sister and my mother and decided she didn't want to wait until they got home before she would get dinner. oh no! she was going to have it RIGHT NOW! she begins to scream bloody murder, so my sister just rips her shirt open, pulls her bra down and leans completely over the front seat and nurses her while she still sits in her car seat and as my mother drives down the road. with cars passing on either side. got that visual in your head? not a pretty sight for passersby, i'm sure. and surely not something you would see everyday on your ride home from work.

anyway, Zoe has decided it's time to wean her puppies. all 11 of them. each time they nurse they dig little holes into her "girls". their little nails are like needles. soon she will go back to a more normal size. BUT, for now, until the last feeding, she will have what i call "HOLEY MOLEYS". and then we won't look alike anymore. :-(