THANK YOU GOD....for ZOLOFT...i'm going to pick mine up NOW.

i have been without my zoloft for a week. not a good thing. for me or for those who have had the misfortune to cross my path. i get very, very irritable at the slightest things, road rage kicks in, in a really, really big way, i cry at commercials that show kids, or animals or laundry soap. the middle-aged man who left me for greener pastures just gets on my last nerve...and all i have to do is think of him for it to happen. i don't have to hear his voice or see him. just think of him. and my blood starts boiling.


when you have been on zoloft for awhile, as i have been, people notice immediately if you haven't taken it that morning. well, they do with me. and i try to act as if it's all in their mind when they say to me "you didn't take your zoloft today, did you?" all because i was flapping my arms like a bird, at the lady in front of me who was driving the speed limit...like, who does that? drive the speed limit i mean. i was trying to get her to just GO ALREADY. i mean it doesn't take ten minutes to make a freaking TURN into the 7-11. or when i burst into tears because i forgot to put the sugar in the tea and it won't melt good now.


micajah was at work this morning. i had suffered yesterday, what i am hoping was just an extremely bad migraine. i don't know though. it's possible it was some kind of after effects from the flea bombs. but it was BAD. it came on suddenly and left me completely at the mercy of my bed and a hydrocodone. this morning, it is a little better. enough so that i thought i would get up and try to do a little cleaning. i had already mopped the entire house and handwashed a load of dishes that had been sitting in the sink ( i hate dishes in the sink) and fed all the dag-gum dogs around here. i had taken out the trash and was carrying my third load of laundry into the laundry room, when i heard my phone ringing. it was in the bedroom, where i left it, because it is hard to mop, do dishes, feed dogs and carry mountains of dirty clothes while holding the phone on top of my head. and besides, i was out of velcro. after putting the clothes down i went to see who had called. there were 7 missed calls, 3 voice mails and 5 text messages. all within the last few minutes. and they were all from micajah. i thought to myself, "uh oh, did he break down in the truck, was he hurt, i mean all those calls. i checked the texts, which were all duplicates of the same message. WHY CAN'T YOU ANSWER THE FREAKING PHONE? i decided to forgo listening to the voice mails. i was irritated. i was busy. i was dizzy and i didn't feel good. at all. he called again and i was ready for him. as soon as he said WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?... i screamed...BECAUSE I WAS BUSY...washing YOUR dirty clothes, washing YOUR dirty dishes that you left in the sink, feeding YOUR dogs and YOUR cat and i didn't feel like having the phone attached to my head this morning because i have a splitting headache!!!!! What was SOOOO important anyway? and as he spoke...i cried. He said, "i was just going to see if you wanted me to bring you something from Chic Fila on my way home or get you something else because i knew you didn't feel good and wouldn't want to go anywhere. and when you didn't answer the phone i started getting worried because of your head hurting and all."

pass me the kleenex. i'm going to get my zoloft refilled.